Leia
This is the American version of serving sushi on a nude model.
Get the beef, baby. Get all that beef. If you’re buying groceries, you’re likely in a hurry. I might not even notice the person hiding under the raw meat until I uncovered his face. I’m busy! It’s best to ignore this kind of thing and check your list to see if you remembered everything.
On Supermarket Sweep, if you can get a whole person into your cart, you automatically win, I think. Please don’t hold me to that. Also, please don’t nap in the meat fridge. It’s unsanitary. That’s what the carts are for!
I thought this was another pet at first. Nope. Just hair.
If you don’t wash your hair, it supposedly can form knots or dreadlocks. I have no idea how a person gets one solid dreadlock. I’m full of dread. Every day of my life. And yet, all that happens to me is that my hair falls out after turning white. This person’s hair took a different route.
I guess it would come in handy if you got in a fight. You could protect yourself with a thick piece of hair. It’s also great if you want to join the bring-your-pet shopping crowd. They’d never believe it’s not another animal on your head.
Walmart is the Hydra of chain stores, so this is sad to see.
Captain America loves video games. It’s a known fact. He’s even in a few. So why wouldn’t you catch him in the electronics section making a purchase? He deserves a break. He’s saved cities, whole planets from destruction. Let him have this.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear blue shirts and talk you through why your card was denied. While Superman fights for Truth, Justice, and The American Way, Captain America fights for those great deals!
They sell everything at this store!
I kid, of course. They don’t sell kids at Walmart. They’re free. Just take one. I’m joking. Don’t do that. Also, don’t put a whole child on the belt at the register. It’s nearly as bad as sleeping in the meat fridge. Other people have to use that, and you just put a kid on there. Now they have to disinfect it before the person behind you in line catches a cold from him.
Again, the carts are there for napping. Not the register. If your child is too bored and tired to finish shopping with you, let him take a bike off the rack in the back and let him ride it around while you finish.
