Leia
It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on one of my favorite memes from days of old (that’s also still going strong): People of Walmart.
Who are the people of Walmart?
Funny you should ask. According to the founders, The People Of Walmart blog was created in 2009 after its creators took a trip to a South Carolina Walmart and noticed a woman who “looked like a stripper” in a T-shirt that read “go f*** yourself” while accompanied by a two-year-old. Since then they’ve been bringing us the best of the worst that Walmart has to offer.
And It turns out, Walmart shoppers are still as unfortunate as ever.
Walmart is still where people don’t worry about looks or etiquette. Walmart is still where people are free. Walmart is still America, Jack! If you don’t like it, then… make sure you take your camera. There’s some pretty funny stuff going on there.
And if you’re ever wondering “how should I act in public?” then you’re probably one of those stuck-up Target shoppers.
From R-rated shoppers to full-on nude shoppers, and every trashy, weird, and obscene thing in-between, here are some of our “favorite” funny people of Walmart.
“No bag, thank you. I’ll wear it now.”
See if you can spot it…
Finally, a spoon big enough for the amount of cereal I eat.
Some people were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Others had to go out and work hard to get that spoon. First, we get the money. Then, we get the spoons. Then, we get a significant other who’s cool with us wearing a big spoon as jewelry.
I don’t know much about fashion per se, but I do know if you’re not Flavor Flav, you should think twice about wearing oversized household items as a necklace. I’m basing this on my normal clothing decisions, like wearing the same pair of jeans for a whole month without washing them. Anyway, you do you, buddy!
They found love in a hopeless place.
Some people are so codependent they can’t be out of each others’ arms for even a moment. Even when they’re shopping. It’s nice to see people who can get along this well, but there’s a difference between wanting to and needing to do something like this. I’m guessing it’s the latter.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re literally attached at the hip because of some botched surgery. Or maybe they don’t know each other at all. They met in the Walmart parking lot, and said “I want to get to know you for the next 30 minutes while I shop for a new lasso.” He is a cowboy after all. And they have everything there. I hope they had a nice time.
Never go to the grocery store hungry, they say.
Let the world know your two favorite things.
If a friend asked what three things I’d want on a deserted island, I would say “doughnuts, pizza, and my doughnut-and-pizza-themed clothes.” For me, wearing clothes with my favorite food on them is redundant. People can see my tired eyes, my gut, and my big beard. They know I’m a pizza lover already.
I only hope the person in this photo asked for help at the register finding more clothes that match his current outfit. The clerk probably ran to the back to find an ice cream hoodie and slippers that look like hotdogs. If not, then why even go shopping at Walmart? Go do anything else.
In the early days of COVID, masks were harder to come by, so some Walmart shoppers just improvised.
Wonder if he even realizes that he’s a super-spreader now?
Hear me out: What if Slenderman weren’t slender at all?
This person is in the electronics and video game aisle because he loves playing games. With your head! He loves walking right behind you. Amazingly, someone saw Large Slenderman and snapped a photo. I assume the person who took this photo is now dead. Unless they walked at a normal pace to getaway. Then, they probably made it safely out of the store without incident.
He is the best-dressed person in the store, though. There’s no denying it.
These emotional support animals are getting out of control.
Call me old fashioned, but I remember a time when people went shopping without a goat on their back. You left the goat at home to deal with your recycling. By the time you got home for the store, all your cans were gone, and you could celebrate by drinking all the beer you bought, and leaving the cans for the goat to eat the next day. Now, people are doing this:
The goat looks like it’s whispering to this woman what she missed from her shopping list. Even if the goat is helping you shop, maybe get a leash instead of a BabyBjörn. Otherwise, people are going to think you had a baby with a goat. It might be impossible, sure. But people will think it.
Ahoy, neckbeard. Hope he’s here to pick up some discount razors.
The sign does “say wear a mask” so technically you’re not wrong.
There’s a fine line between self-care and just giving up. And boy does she walk that line hard.
You look surprised we included you in this list. Oh, you always look surprised?
What if your emotional support animal is another person? Here’s a solution.
“I keep my man on a tight leash.” is not something I ever thought would be said literally. Clearly, this is consensual, but I hope one of the greeters at Walmart at least asked if that was the case. “Hi, just making sure you’re in some kind of sub/dom relationship, and not being held against your will. Thank you. Have a lovely day.”
I wonder if he’s housebroken or if they needed to clean up a few aisles after this couple walked through.
Happy? Check. Protected from a deadly virus? Not so much.
Walmart sells “duck crossing” signs for this exact situation.
If you’re wondering “what pet is right for me?” The answer is a “cat.” If you have to spend time thinking it through, you’re not ready for the struggle that is having a pet with a lot of upkeep. If, however, you’re sitting and thinking I want a “raccoon as a pet,” you might as well go out and get one. You love animals and it doesn’t matter what people think about your choice. I’m assuming that’s what happened with this woman and her pet duck…
Imagine this woman going up to a greeter and saying “do you allow pets in the store?” and then walking in with her duck. The saddest part? This photo is from a shopping trip for Christmas Eve Dinner. Traditionally, you eat duck that night. This lady is a complete quack. All right. We get it.